Things the Conservative Party Could Run in the Next Federal Election in Any Calgary Riding and Still Win: Commentary

For decades, there have only been right-leaning political parties that have elected members to the Canadian Parliament. You would have to go back before I was born before you could find another a different political stripe that has represented a riding in Calgary – and I don’t even know who that would have been because it has been so long. The Progressive Conservative, CRAP and Conservative (read CRAP) Parties are the only parties who have represented ridings in Calgary since the early 1970s.

It makes no logical sense why this has continued to happen, with the stunning migration trend from other parts of the country. Surely they all can’t be conservative? It all comes down to a few important factors: voter apathy (the Conservative candidate will win so why bother voting); voter stupidity (my vote won’t count so why bother voting); the old-folks vote (they always vote and vote conservatively); and voter manipulation.

Voter manipulation is the biggest factor. For decades, Calgarians have been brainwashed, manipulated and beaten over the head by the media, the business community and their own family members and friends by the National Energy Program (NEP) of Pierre Trudeau. These people still wake up in the middle of the night with night terrors, kicking and screaming, drenched in sweat, flailing their limbs and screaming: “Pierre Trudeau stole my oil! Pierre Trudeau stole my oil! Pierre Trudeau stole my oil!” Get over it. That was over 35 years ago. Stop living in the past.

No wonder there are so many bad drivers in Calgary: they spend each night having night terrors about Pierre Trudeau and how he allegedly stole their oil so much that they can’t function as they drive to work every day. On their deathbeds, their last words are always “Pierre Trudeau stole my oil!” They can’t let it rest. It’s all they talk about, these old people and they talk about it so often that it becomes lore in their own families which causes normally clear thinking people to vote Conservative in the federal election. They go into the polling station looking for change but once they look at that ballot, the old “Pierre Trudeau stole my oil!” bleating blares in their heads and instead of voting for inclusion and human rights, they end up voting for door knobs like Rob Anders.

One of these days, some truly visionary candidate from another party that is not the Conservative Party will win a seat in Calgary. I just can’t believe that with the changing demographic in Calgary, that it is not possible. Perhaps one day, the ridiculous bleating of “Pierre Trudeau stole my oil!” will eventually cease.